CREATING SAFETY FOR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES, ONE MOMENT AT A TIME
Sometimes you see it on a sign. “You are safe here.” Yet safety is so much more than a statement. At DABSJ, it’s something deeper. The feeling that you can be yourself without fear. That you can share what’s really on your mind. That you can say stop and be listened to. That you are seen, respected, and cared for – and will be, consistently.
And especially when trauma has been part of your story, safety must be built intentionally over time.
We asked our team a simple question: How do you help kids and families feel safe? Their answers remind us that safety is found in hundreds of small choices, repeated day after day, by people who care.
“I give them choice and acceptance. I ask what is safe for them and try to stay within those boundaries. Sometimes that means role-playing difficult conversations they need to have with parents or other adults, creating safety plans, or accompanying them to school meetings, interviews with law enforcement, or probation officers – situations that can feel really unsafe. And sometimes it means playing games or doing crafts when talking just feels like too much.”
-LENAIR, BEHAVIORAL HEALTH
“I offer choices about where we meet. If I’m meeting with a youth in one of our houses on campus, I’ll ask, ‘Would you like to meet in your room or downstairs today?’ Our kids live with so much uncertainty and have so few spaces that feel safe. Giving them control over where therapy happens helps them do the hardest work in the place they feel most comfortable.”
-SARAH, FAMILY PRESERVATION AND BEHAVIORAL HEALTH
“One small thing I do in sessions is play a game. I always keep Uno in my backpack. I remember a session where a youth was in the middle of an intense argument with a parent and begrudgingly agreed to meet with me. We started by playing a game to help them cool down. A lot of the kids are in difficult spaces in their lives, and just taking a moment to have fun helps calm things down and lets them just be kids.”
-JOEL, WRAPAROUND SERVICES
“As a therapist, I’m very aware of the power difference between youth and professionals. Kids are often taught that adults in authority are not to be questioned and are rarely wrong. I try to disrupt that. I admit my mistakes. I’m honest when I don’t know an answer. I apologize when I need to and talk through conflict and repair. I want youth to know that I’m not separate from those human experiences. We’re all navigating them.”
-JOHN, BEHAVIORAL HEALTH
“I always try to show genuine interest on a personal level – asking about what they’re into and remembering to follow up. I’ll share small connections from my own life when it’s appropriate. That reciprocity matters. It helps youth see you as another human being, not just someone talking to them because it’s your job.”
-JODY, FOSTER CARE
“I try to be the most predictable human I can be. That looks like consistently showing up, keeping a similar way of speaking and acting over time, having recurring appointment schedules, the same general flow to meetings, the same fidget toys, and giving lots of notice when there’s going to be any change or transition. A trainer once said, ‘If trauma is chaos, then healing requires predictability,’ and that really stuck with me.”
-MERCEDES, TRAUMA-FOCUSED THERAPY
“I allow children to be themselves and talk freely, without judgment. I don’t tell them they shouldn’t have said or done something, but instead try and have them look at things through a different lens.”
-STACEY, FOSTER CARE
“Asking open-ended questions and truly listening. Finding big and small ways to praise what’s going right, even when you have to dig deep. Giving time. Being playful. Music. If they’re hungry, let them eat. Look for ways to simplify their life. And give them as much autonomy as possible, the power to choose. Their world is already so far outside their control. Choice helps restore safety.”
-CARRIE, POST-ADOPTION SUPPORT
Safety shows up in sometimes ordinary moments that make extraordinary things possible. As a partner in this work, you help build a safe place in our community for children and families.
Interested in joining a team that supports safety for children and families in our community? View open positions and more about Team DABSJ here.
